Thursday, April 10, 2008

Mercy's Mouth

I'm well aware that my little one's mouth is going to get her into trouble in the growing up years. Mine always got me into trouble. Now for those of you who don't know mean I do not mean in any way that she uses foul language, I mean that her mouth is never closed unless she is sleeping! Ha!

Today as we are walking to our car after PDO, we are passing the playground. M tells me that that is where she was supposed to be playing today, but she was hitting the boys. Now this takes me back to the 4th grade when the minute the recess bell rang, me and my gal pals hit the door running after the boys to kick them in the bottom. Apparently some "game" we created. I don't know. Don't remember. Don't ask. Not real proud of this memory.

Now my little girl is not a bully. She is bossy, but she is rarely out and out mean. So ask her why she was hitting the boys. Were they being mean? She said yes. So I say, "what were they doing? were they hitting you?" Then she says, "No. They were spitting in my hair." PAUSE... "They were spitting in your hair?!"
"Well, I can see why you hit them."

I put her in her seat and proceed to tell her that it's not o.k. to hit, that this does not please God. I did say that I understood and I told her to make sure that she told the teacher. She said she did tell the teacher and they got mad at the boys, "not at me cause I wasn't spitting in anyone's hair." Later her daddy asked her if the boys got punished for their unacceptable behavior? and she said, "punished, yeah, reprimanded, they got consequences." I thought that was soooooo funny coming from my precious little 2 1/2 yr. olds mouth! What?! punished, reprimanded, consequences?! and all used correctly?! I have got to be on guard what I say cause she is a sponge!

Her daddy and I felt the same way. and told her that next time try to tell the teacher right away, but if she can't, at least give the perpetrator a warning and the chance to make the right choice, but if they reoffend then you might just have to hit them. We said that it is generally not acceptable to hit, but sometimes it is necessary.

What a story! seriously makes me laugh just rehashing it now! What do you think about our response?! I'm not sure myself. Turn the other cheek and all, but really, if something inappropriate is happening or someone has my kid trapped, I want her to not be afraid to fight for herself if she needs to.


kathylove said...

Sounds like you gave Mercy a good answer. Each of us has our own personal space - sounds like the little boys trespassed into Mercy's space. Hopefully they will learn from this experience.

This does remind me of a time not too long ago when our gson, Bo,was staying with us. We took him to our church and he went to his age Sunday School/church class. Bo is 3 years old. I checked on him between SS and church and the Children's Minister said that all was going well. Bo's SS teacher told us he did fine and she enjoyed him. BUT when we picked him up after church we just felt like something had gone on in this class. The workers in there where volunteer helpers. Bo voluntarily informed us that some older boys (5yrs old) made him cry. He couldn't tell me why. I asked him if they hit him. His reply was hilarious! He said, "yes, they hit me second!" Guess who hit first!!

Caroline said...

HA!!! I don't even use words that big!:) She is one smart kid - look out!

It's a Mom Thing said...

She is just such a smartie! It's good that she is so honest with you. Spitting in her hair...that's nuts! Boys, and we're about to have a pair!

My only suggestion is to be careful at this age about what they tell you and what your response is. As well as T$ and Mercy can recount events, we must remember that they are preschoolers and their reality does not always line up with what is real. Does that make sense? And I would definitely suggest the "Go tell the teacher" route, again, because they may not be able to decipher when hitting may be appropriate or not. If you're trying to teach them not to hit, it is confusing to give them permission to, at some times.

I totally understand about the "mouth" though. T$ has a bad habit of saying things very loudly about people in stores. Such as, "That man has a tatoo." or "That lady is short." We're working on whispering such comments to Mommy instead of all of Target.

Shelby said...

Yeah, tough one. On the one hand, you want her to defend herself. But on the other hand, you want her to not just use any excuse to hit (something we still struggle to teach stone not to do.) It is hard to distinguish between the two (when it's okay and not okay.) I guess we just keep explaining until they get it... (which will be much longer for stone than for m probably!)

w & j's mommy said...

NO spitting in this house allowed--and hitting=VINEGAR in the mouth! AS you know we have been dealing with a little aggression in our house lately..I think it might have to do with baby brother coming along soon!
We tell W to go with the whole walk away and tell the teacher route too!
M is very smart....and a real cutie too!