Day After Christmas Syndrome

No surprise, but M had a day after Christmas that beat any behavior I've ever seen out of her. I kept my cool for the most part though. I tried to remember a lot of my Love and Logic things that I learned and calmly responded to her utter disrespect and rudeness with quiet words such as, "uh oh. I'm so sorry you made that choice (or you chose to behave that way). " Then I'd dole out the consequence. Bless her heart, on the day after Christmas I had to take away the entire Rose Petal Cottage and all its accessories. She was to have to do 3 chores to earn it all back, but she didn't want to, so we waited until she realized she might like to do a chore after all...much later that night.

In fact, she lost her privilege with that early in the day and it go worse! In fact, her new phrase when she is in that mood is (said with enthusiasm much like you would see in one of these princess movies she enjoys), "Never!" For example:

me: "Uh oh. I'm sorry you made that choice. That will be three minutes on the naughty spot. go on now and I'll set the timer.
m: No! I won't!
me: M. You need to get up and sit on the naughty spot now or mommy will have to get mr. sad spoon.
m: "Never!"
me: (out comes mr. sad spoon)
m: "I won't do it!"
me: carrying my almost 40 lb, 3 1/2 yr old to the spot while she is flailing.
m: She sits...kicks and has a fit, but remains there none the less.

when the time is up we typically say our apologies and briefly run through the choices that lead to the consequence. We didn't get very far with it all this time cause mr. nasty reared his ugly head again. And thus it was time for bed...with no supper mind you, but we had given her the option to make the right choice and she did not.

After taking her to her room and laying her in her bed twice and turning off the light...shutting the door all the way (listening to her tantrum) twice...hubs heard her talking out loud to herself about what the right choices would be. Then she pulled herself together, opened her door and came to me and said, "I got it together. I'm sorry that I acted so ugly. Can I please not go to bed? (mind you it is only about 5:30 or 6)"

me: "you'll have to go talk to your daddy about that.
m to her daddy:"I'm sorry for disrespectful. I got it together now. Can I please not go to bed yet? That's the right thing to say. I talked about it in my room and that's the right choices."

OF COURSE we let her say her sorries and gave her forgiveness and kisses and love. She was able to stay up a bit more for supper and some short Arthur movies that she got for Christmas. But she, herself, decided that she was tired. So last night, for the first time ever...we had both kids in bed before 8 pm. That is unheard of around here. Well, it was pretty close to that tonight as well, but she was much better behaved.

So behaved was my little girl that she did her 2 remaining chores to earn her house back. She was sweet almost all day, so I let her skip quiet time and we (just she and I) went to walmart, aldi, and starbucks. I even bought her some purple flowers she wanted (mums) cause they were 1/2 off of $5. We returned a toy that we got two of, took the cash from the return to buy some groceries for J for when we are out of town next week. We went to Starbuck cause I had a coupon for a free drink and just enough on a gift card to get M an apple juice and a sour cream donut. The whole escapade cost me a grand total of $0! Fantastic!

Bah-Humbug

When you have to wake M up...she tends to be a little on the grumpy side. And that's what I got to deal with all morning. I took her to school today so hubs could get to work early (so he could sneak away to her Christmas Program at 10:30). She is decked from head to toe (minus the pink dora crocs that she insisted on wearing) in Christmas attire...but no Christmas music folks! As we were on our way to school I thought it'd be fun to hear some children's Christmas music that my SIL gave us. Boy was I wrong. She crabbed at me cause it wasn't Backyardigans. Then she says, "I don't like Christmas!" To which I replied..."That's o.k. I'll just give your presents to other children who love Christmas."
"I like presents...i just don't like Christmas."
"well," i say, "that's sad cause children that don't like Christmas don't have any need for presents."
Then I hear her quietly say, "I really do love Christmas"
"Mommy loves Christmas cause that was Jesus' birthday!"

In the same car ride she randomly says, "I wish I had a real pony. A real pony of my very own with wings that was a pegasus!"
"Really! if u did would you pick mommy up for a ride cause i've never done that before?"
"yes, but you would have to hold on tight...to his wings."

and this discussion about the best way to ride a pegasus continues on...

Happy Anniversary

This goes out to itsamomthing. I believe its their anniversary today...AND I didn't actually post on my anniversary which was Monday the 15th, so it goes out to me and my hubs as well.

7 years has gone by mighty fast...i was tempted to say without a hitch, but that wouldn't be very true. I mean for heaven's sake! We moved every year of our marriage for the first 3 or 4 years, then came Katrina, after which multiple more moves occurred. Just before that lovely natural disaster came even lovelier M! She was but a mere 6 weeks at the time of our evacuation! Man was her nursery adorable! Actually our whole seminary apartment was pretty awesome...all decorated the way we wanted it. (All 706 sq. ft. of it!)

We've been through a lot and I have to say I wouldn't have rather been through any of it with any other person! I still think he's funny, hunky, adorable, sweet, kind, se*xy, and manly. He has come a long way, as have I I'm sure. He is so much more considerate and conscientious with me and the kids. He takes care of us. I love that. And I just wanna say that I can't wait for many more years to come.

A Tid bit

M: (wearing her wedding dress up) "I have a baby boy in my womb...
me: thinking hmmm...and your getting married ok. "really?"
M: "yeah so when I push him out we can get married."
me: "oh. interesting!"
thinking that explaining how many ways this was wrong would not be worth the effort!

"S"

"S" is for :

1. Shhhh...because I just put the baby down for his morning nap.
2. Sick because I have been extremely that since wed/thurs
3. Sleepover because that is what M and her daddy played friday night with miniature marshmellows on bamboo skewers over a candle flame. they also pulled out the trundle bed and read books by the light of a camping lantern.
4. Special, how I feel when my husband takes such care of me and the children in the wake of my illness.
5. Sleep, something I got alot of yesterday in order to beat this illness.
6. Sinus infection, what I think I'm being treated for, though I must say it feels alot more like the flu.
7. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...because M is seriously into this movie.
8. Step In Time...because this is her favorite part (you should see her interpretation of the dance!)
9. Same...because I'm tired of seeing the same thing over and over (even though this too is one of my favorite movies)
10. Silly, the Fred Claus movie we rented to watch last night. Good thing is was only a dollar.
11. Santa, our tree is insanely full of presents and I'm not sure how.
12. Santa, in whose lap M sat yesterday, made her picture and told what she wanted for Christmas at a friends birthday party.
13. Sad, cause she can't make up her mind what she wants for Christmas so it doesn't appear that she'll be getting anything she asked for...
14. Saint, cause that's what my friend Brooke is for stealing my M away for the day so that I could rest!
15. Stockings, cause for the first time in my married life I actually HUNG the stockings on the mantel.
16. Spelling, cause I'm not certain I ever knew how to spell #7 and seem to have forgotten how to spell mantle...or is it mantel.
17. Spell Check, cause it doesn't seem to be much help on those two words.
18. Soy, the formula I just tried out on W because he has been unbearably gassy and uncomfortable
19. Sanity, that I apparently must have lost in thinking that going to walmart during this season was a good idea
20. Sorry that I couldn't come up with one more to make this an even 20.
    

haven't posted in 8 million years

Sorry, I've been sooooo slack! Right now my kids are in a place where in they need more of me, so they come first on my priority list. Then when all is calm and quiet all I want to do is go to bed! Ha! I know you other mothers understand...can I get an amen!

Not to mention we have been in and out of town a good bit lately. What with visiting my sister, thanksgiving with the young's in b'ham, and now Christmas program in North Carolina with my parents and brother...we have kept ourselves pretty busy.

Here is an update. M is dying to be in control and it is often very unpleasant and not very pretty. It certainly makes me think of God and the way he must feel with us when we are dying to be in control. (that's next to impossible to explain to a 3 yr old). She has shown out several times while here with Nani and Cuz! Sad too cause I want to allow her time with them, but her punishment is time away. She was so close to biting me tonight in the midst of one of her fits. I gave her the look and told her to bite me and see what happens. We don't do much spanking anymore, but I've had to give her 2 good ones over the last 2 days. Boy does she have a temper. Still I think when she gets out some of the venom, she better understands that it is her choices that have brought her here and her choices that can make the situation better or worse.

On top of that, W has had issues adjusting to his formula supplements. don't get me wrong...he takes them just fine when he wants them, but he seems to have a good bit more gas, and sometimes appears to have trouble going #2! Oh boy, those of you that know may recall the major issues with that we had with M! One of my least favorite things to have to worry about and certainly one of the issues that can frazzle me the most! SIL suggested trying soy formula. That's my next step. He once was such a great sleeper. waking but once a night for a feeding and then immediately back to sleep. about 1 in 4 nights he'll still do that...but the other 4 are generally more up and down. Making a very tired mom! Shout out to itsamomthing cause I know my issues don't compare to your nights of up and down!

Other than being tired...I'm doing great! My 7 yr anniversary is coming up and hubs and I had a date...alone...dinner AND a movie all for the low price of $30.00 thanks to discounted movie tickets from our credit union and restraunt.com for a huge savings on a $25 off of $35 purchase at Flat Rock Grill! Nice! Free babysitting thanks to mom.

AND I'm just about ready for Christmas present wise. we try to simplify and not go overboard...but it is hard. I don't think it has much to do with the hype of commercialism as it has to do with, I just love to give gifts to the people I love...especially my children. Still, for M, I'm sure I overbought and I need to do inventory. I'll save some gifts for her birthday. For W, I didn't really know what to get and was a bit worried about have little or nothing for him under the tree. Then I went to a kids consignment sale with my mom that was unlike most I'd ever seen! I got just about everything for a dollar! most of the toys I purchased were 75% off! I'm telling you I can't wait to post a pic. I got clothes for a dollar, bottles, pacis new in their packages, and lots of baby toys and crinkle books! So now I'm excited! Just a few more gifts (mostly gift cards) and that should do it.

when I get home, I'll do my best to post a pic of all my finds from the consignment trip, and a pic of our oh so lovely tree. For now I'm off to bed, hoping for a fantastic nights sleep.

W is 4 months!

My little one is 4 months...my how that just flies by. we had his visit and got some vaccines, but they said he isn't growing like he should be. Of course they said not to worry but bring him back in 2 weeks for a weight check. Well, what mother wouldn't worry about that. So I've been trying to figure out what is going on...is he full after he nurses or is he not eating more cause I'm not producing any more. Seems to be the latter from what I have figured out. We've been giving him a supplemental bottle of mother's milk after he nurses. That boy can eat! Now to bring some resolution to the whole situation...He was 13.10 and 26" long. Still the sweetest thing...so happy.

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Halloween!

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Been Missin You A Long Time...

Sorry about the length between posts. Life has been busy for sure, but when is it not with two kids. Me and the kids went on a long trip with my mom, so that was the initial delay. it was sort of unexpected. We had planned to go to NC to visit the family for all of their birthdays...and the remainder of the trip was fuzzy from there. We wanted to visit aunt minnah since she can't really break away due to medical things AND she hadn't seen W since he was born, but weren't sure how to do all that by myself.

Well it worked out that mom could come and thus she offered to come pick me up and drive me around to all these adventures. I'm so glad she did cause I don't think I could have done it alone. We had a great time seeing everyone! So fun to get M and Stone back together...they were beside themselves! Love going to Minnahs. It is always so cozy it feels like home and I never want to leave. Miss my sisters (shelby and meredith) wish they were closer.

Here's a little slideshow of our fun.

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Pumpkin Fun-kin

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Things about Me (W)...

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I'm three months old and I'm full of my very own personality. Things you might like to know about me are:

1. I love the ladies...my fave time of the week best mom can tell, is at mom to mom. I smile and smile at the ladies. I think they like me too.

2. Dad says I really get into Bill O'Reilly with him. It calms me down.

3. I like my bouncy seat, but only if the toy/sound part is removed so I can keep dibs on mommy.

4. I love to watch my sissy when she is still long enough for me to do so.

5. Loud noises make me scared...I have a specific very sad cry for this.

6. I'm balding...but only in a ring all the way around my head.

7. I love to chew on anything...except a paci. (maybe i'll get a tooth pretty soon)

8. I don't like to be held like a baby for long. Stand me up, or turn me around. I wanna see what you see.

9. I love to have my bottom patted.

10. I love to be worn in the slings almost anytime (even during housework)

11. I love...and I mean LOVE, my mommy!

12. I'm discovering my voice and I really like to make silly, loud, high pitched squeals. It seems to get the most reaction from the grown-ups.

13. I already love blankies, but I'm not yet particular for one.

14. I already love a schedule too...I know when things are off and that is not o.k. with me.

15. I love to be outside.

What we've been up to...

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Latest from Mercy

So she is now frequently saying, "I am going to be on my best behavior today. I am going to obey all days, everydays! Anything you say...that's what I'll do."

Hahaha! If only this were actually true. But really, it shows her heart and intentions. How many times do I wake up to a new day and determine with all the vigor I can muster that I am going to obey God all days everydays! ...

This morning she said, "I'm reading my bible, so I can make good choices all the time."

And of course I was immediately pleased and convicted! I said that I was so proud and that she had a great idea. Mommy was going to read MY bible too, so that I could make good choices for my day as well.

What a girl!

Playing Catch up

I barely find time to blog anymore and I find that slightly disheartening...but on my priority list, it just falls short after the millions of other things that gals with multiple children have to do.

We are still dealing with discipline issues with M. She is doing significantly better, or at least we are more relaxed with it all cause we know how to handle it. She had an out burst yesterday after a wonderful day...we understood that because she chose to play instead of nap during quiet time that she was tired by 7pm. (approximate time of outburst). She managed it o.k. In fact, she was on the naughty spot during said event and said that she was just crying and expressing herself...she wasn't being ugly or having a fit. I told her that was acceptable. I mean a girls gotta let that out sometimes.

She started to "express herself" today at a friends house when we were to pick up so that we could go home. Anyone within earshot might have been deafened by her one long ear piercing scream. So I said, "we agreed that if you chose to disobey that we were going home, so it is now time to leave." She answered as you might expect with a NO. Which I wasn't listening to, because I proceeded to gather up our bag and baby and hit the door. You know that wasn't acceptable and she came running and started crying in sincerity. I stopped at the porch door and looked at her and gently repeated my previous statement. I hugged her and she said that she loved me...I love her too. And off we went thanking our host and apologizing for our outburst. Not too bad comparitively. She's learning to take control of her reactions. She was disappointed cause she didn't get a chance to wear the buzz lightyear costume, but I told her not to worry...we'd let her go first next time.

Now she is napping. She played quietly for awhile...I napped. Then when it was the usual time to allow her to come out of her room, I found she had climbed in her bed for a nap. How nice! A quiet house, and I've already napped! W sleeps really well during afternoon nap if he sticks to his usual schedule.

On the W front, he had a cranky spell for a few days. I think he was dealing with a little allergies or a touch of a cold. Today he has been delightful. Even at Jill's house, he slept for morning nap thanks to a bit of my favorite babywearing. Pulled out the old standby (my 6 yds of cotton guaze) and wrapped us up. He was having trouble with all the stimulation till I got the bright idea to pull a piece all the way up to cover his head. then he was out in about 1 minute. After I got M situated in her room for quiet time, he was still up and in a good mood so I didn't try to force him down for a nap. I just spent some one on one face time with him and I was much rewarded! He giggled and giggled! He likes to play little games it seems. Hearing his little giggle is better than any rush or high I could ever imagine!

On my front, I am doing well. I keep a little more to myself than I'm used to...maybe because I'm spent by the end of the day, or maybe because with a growing family I don't get alot of time to myself. I've been sewing a sleeping beauty costume for myself. Really I've just about finished. I had to recreate the thing though, cause I had the skirt already hanging in my closet, so I just needed to make the bodice. But I couldn't find a pattern for it, so I used a snow white pattern with sleeve patterns from another princess pattern. Then I had to attach partial skirt embellishment to it. And on top of that there is the white collar like thing that I have no idea, but am going to work on last. I have a wig too! How fun. I will most likely wear this for halloween, but M thinks I definitely need to be Ariel for halloween. I'm making these costumes in the hopes of one day starting a princess party business...more on that to come.

That is the latest...except to say our lease is up Dec. 1st and we are exploring our options looking for extra space. Buying isn't an option for us right now so, we are just trying to decide whether to stay put or move to something bigger that will inevitably have a higher price tag. We shall see.

Creative Discipline

Well, I think maybe I've finally had a break through on my creativity when it comes to consequences for M's misbehaving. I felt like a success yesterday when I came up with an idea after she had acted out at school on the playground. She disobeyed her teacher and then proceeded to have a tantrum and had to be carried back to class. Nice.

"Uh oh! How sad." She was supposed to do a chore to earn her TV time back that she lost at the beginning of the week due to an outburst over bath (in which she deliberately clawed J and left marks on his arm). That privilege was lost and in addition to that, I though maybe lending her teacher one of her favorite things to have over the weekend might be a good idea. She agreed to this and chose her two favorite ponies. We bagged them up but when we tied the bag together, she decided she didnt' want to do that anymore. I then knew not only did the punishment fit the crime, but it hurt a little. This is what I was going for.

We sent a little note to Ms. T saying that she was sorry for having a fit and that she could play with her favorite ponies this weekend, but to please return them to her bag next week. She also wanted me to write "I love you" which I did and thought was really sweet. Ms. T responded with a note in kind...said M was doing super in school and thanks for loaning her the ponies.

This disciplining is not easy mainly cause it seems we are having to do it all day everyday. But I guess we are being extremely consistent right now so that we can move on from this stage and into one where in she knows and understands the boundaries and the discipline is less often necessary.

Knee Deep in Discipline

Well, the title of this post should say it all. When I was potty training M, I took her out of school to get the job done well and quickly. Well, M is still going to school, but that is about it right now. Getting out with her just wouldn't be a great idea as she is still learning to take discipline from mom and dad right now. Add on top of that a boy who has been a bit cranky for the last 3 days, and you'll understand why I have on yesterday's makeup still, haven't showered or brushed my teeth yet and am wearing my pj's...still. I did get dinner fixed and that was superb! Filet and fried okra from the garden and mashed potatoes...yum. Boy is suddenly awake...again and this doesn't look good for tonight since his sleeping pattern today has been only 20-30 min. at a time. yippee! Gotta run. Maybe I'll get a chance to post again sometime in the near future! who really knows.

Family Photos!

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W at 2 months!

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SuperNanny

So, I haven't blogged much lately cause I've been exhausted! Naps are apparently a thing of the past around here and night times have been very difficult.

We've dealt with or desperately tried to deal with major tantrums almost daily. Mr. Sad Spoon seems to be mostly useless except to make both M and J and me angry. So, we are using restrictions...that gets old cause even though it sort of helps, it seems like we are too negative all the time.

J and I did something that made me feel like a real parent for the first time in a while (you know besides natural childbirth ha!). We got together on the same page and figured out just how we were going to deal with our parenting problem.

Thank goodness for family as well, cause after sounding things off my mom I was able to combine all of our decisions and some things that we gleaned from SuperNanny and we scheduled our first family meeting!

It was hilarious actually cause M was sooo excited about it! She and I sat down with a posterboard and a sharpie and decided what our family rules should be and what our consequences and rewards should be. She enjoyed having a say and being a part of the process. We showed the naughty spot and we introduced the coin jar. When she does certain chores or behaves well, she gets to put in a coin. If she disobeys or disrespects, she has to take a coin out. This seemed to hit home. She immediately did a task to get a coin. Then we worked to clean her room, one of a daily chore, and so she got another coin. Then (and this is big) she went #2 on the potty all by herself with no assistance. For that she got to put in a coin. She packed her bag for school tomorrow and thus will get a coin tomorrow morning AND her dad said that if she went to bed without problems, she could put in 2 coins.

Not a peep! Unbelievable cause sleeping has been particularly difficult! Now on Fridays when daddy gets home we get to see if we have enough coins for something special. She suggested icecream this week! Great idea! So we shall see.

We had to do the supernanny thing putting her back in bed over and over with little or no talking/eye contact involved. It was dramatic for sure and can't believe that w slept through it...but it didn't last too long. probably 10-15 times I had to put her back in bed. But it worked. Once she got quiet, she was quiet until I came to get her up. I don't think she slept, at least not for long...but she was quiet and remaind in her room. That was the point. I was thrilled.

Mom says welcome to child training as opposed to simply raising a child. Fun times, but the small victories are just as exciting to J and I as I think they are to M! Victory #1!

Naptime Nonsense!

Seriously. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I LOVE to nap. Not all the time or anything, but almost everyday for at least 40min. This two kid thing isn't very conducive to that though! And it makes me angry! Angry not cause I'm cranky, but you know that feeling of boiling angst when you are desperately trying to do something and it just isn't working out your way! That is me...now and the last several days. Ugh. At least W is sleeping a good 8-10 hours at night. Thank the Lord for that. Sorry for the short post...he is hungry