Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Shed Tears

I shed some tears today for the life lost. I can cope though because of the new life I have now, full of future hope and possibility mingled with a touch of the things I new back then. The anniversary of Katrina is fast approaching. It's literally about a week away. I thought it would make an appropriate blog so I searched through some of my cataloged photos and a rush of emotion came over me. I fought it at first, but then thought it best to just allow myself to mourn just a bit. Mostly I morned for the comfort of home and family. I mourned for the comfort of a full life, one that knew of a support group of neighbors, friends, family, and coworkers who valued me and my life enough to keep up with my ongoings and offer help or encouragement along this journey we are all in together.

I find that I'm a bit more emotional now because of other people's issues that are affecting me at this time. It is funny how God intended our earthly relationships to also be interwoven. That's part of the concept of community. When one hurts, others feel some of the pain. It may not be the same pain, or the same feeling, and it may not be completely understood, but the reality is that regardless of the claims that the pain belongs to that one person alone, it is my experience that the pain is shared. It is the same with Christ even. It would be and is my pleasure (and pain) to experience some of the ache and pain of His redeeming death. We are not designed to be an island. It's not in our makeup. We are made in Christ's image and he is one part of a Trinity--these three co-exist. Hard to grasp, but something that I think we long to achieve in our own relationships. The concept is similar also in the explanation of the church as the body and the marital relationship as no longer two but one. This soapbox could really go on, and probably get really good, but this is all I choose to say about such things at this time.

Things are different now. I expected as much, but I just thought it good to express. So thus, I will make a list of the differences from the past year.

1. I have a toddler (thus life is different)
2. I don't have a job
3. Most of my relationships are distant and communication is seldom
4. We have found a church but no connection of a small group
5. My family is putting down roots!
6. The prospect of a house is high and soon!
7. There is quite a lot of limbo in our life.
8. My extended family of origin is gone away (in many aspects)
9. My precious family of 3 here is more of a family, more communally sufficient.
10. I've become a homebody.
11. I have little or no direction outside of acquiring and making a home at this time.
12. We have a routine!
13. We have significantly less debt!

I'm sure the list could go on, but those are the first and easiest to recall. And I'm not going to waist all of these quiet moments during Mercy's nap expressing them to all of you who even read this. It's time to get up and move on. I paid enough attention to my grief today, and so, I will unpack from my trip, shower, clean, and do all the other stay-at-home-mom things I usually do. I will update you all on my trip later, after work tonite (child care work for peanuts).