Religious Gathering

We have been trying to make heads or tails of "church" in our life lately. I put parenthesis here cause we understand the truest meaning of church as God intended it, but I am referring to the gatherings that we as Americans do typically on Sunday mornings that involve some type of singing and preaching.

We enjoy our Sundays...relaxing, spending time as a family, catching up on things from our busy weeks. We do miss things like corporate worship times. I miss the singing. Mom says she figures I miss leading worship...I do feel whole when I'm doing that. So, we decide to try once more to find a place...not where we necessarily fit in, but one that we can deal with in its current form. You see we don't do religious gatherings per se. We are over it as it has been presented to us up to this point. We are looking for something more meaningful...not just something we do cause we've always done it.

In fact, I feel slightly put off by a perfect show if you will. Because it is just that...typically...a show. I long for something real. Something a bit laid back, but certainly not sloppy. Cause really, we need to offer our best to God in worship. But I don't consider this one time of gathering "worship." At least it isn't all that encompasses that concept. It is one part at least it is an attempt on our part.

I long for communion with other believers...in an authentic, and real relationship. I don't want church friends...I want friends. I don't want people who are only going to attempt to hold me accountable with whatever we are "studying in bible study right now". I want people who are going to be slightly annoying and nosy, and hold me accountable in a gentle and loving way, for things I hadn't even realized or thought of yet. I need intimacy and authenticity. don't we all really. This isn't new news...just our going to the church building experience today left me desperately wanting more! Seriously.

I love hymns, but they can be done in a way that reaches today's generation. I love most music and songs, but they can be done with connection to the meaning, with feeling and heart. I love God's word, and I dig liturgy if it means something to those presenting and participating. I just have a hard time finding God in all that we do in "church".

THAT IS WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR IN CHURCH: GOD!

just realized that...I've kind of been struggling back and forth about why I'm dissatisfied, and what it is I seek to gain. That's it. I seek to gain God. So, if I find it in the church setting that would be GREAT! But if I find it elsewhere so be it! Then that shall be my church.