Sunday, August 17, 2008

Religious Gathering

We have been trying to make heads or tails of "church" in our life lately. I put parenthesis here cause we understand the truest meaning of church as God intended it, but I am referring to the gatherings that we as Americans do typically on Sunday mornings that involve some type of singing and preaching.

We enjoy our Sundays...relaxing, spending time as a family, catching up on things from our busy weeks. We do miss things like corporate worship times. I miss the singing. Mom says she figures I miss leading worship...I do feel whole when I'm doing that. So, we decide to try once more to find a place...not where we necessarily fit in, but one that we can deal with in its current form. You see we don't do religious gatherings per se. We are over it as it has been presented to us up to this point. We are looking for something more meaningful...not just something we do cause we've always done it.

In fact, I feel slightly put off by a perfect show if you will. Because it is just that...typically...a show. I long for something real. Something a bit laid back, but certainly not sloppy. Cause really, we need to offer our best to God in worship. But I don't consider this one time of gathering "worship." At least it isn't all that encompasses that concept. It is one part at least it is an attempt on our part.

I long for communion with other believers...in an authentic, and real relationship. I don't want church friends...I want friends. I don't want people who are only going to attempt to hold me accountable with whatever we are "studying in bible study right now". I want people who are going to be slightly annoying and nosy, and hold me accountable in a gentle and loving way, for things I hadn't even realized or thought of yet. I need intimacy and authenticity. don't we all really. This isn't new news...just our going to the church building experience today left me desperately wanting more! Seriously.

I love hymns, but they can be done in a way that reaches today's generation. I love most music and songs, but they can be done with connection to the meaning, with feeling and heart. I love God's word, and I dig liturgy if it means something to those presenting and participating. I just have a hard time finding God in all that we do in "church".

THAT IS WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR IN CHURCH: GOD!

just realized that...I've kind of been struggling back and forth about why I'm dissatisfied, and what it is I seek to gain. That's it. I seek to gain God. So, if I find it in the church setting that would be GREAT! But if I find it elsewhere so be it! Then that shall be my church.

4 comments:

Meredith Peel said...

Move to Auburn and come to my church. It's far from perfect, but I truly worship. They're not great about many of the things that seem important to today's "Church," but they are really good at being a family. My church family makes it easier for me to live so far from my real family, because I have a number of extra parents and siblings and grandparents who are there anytime I need them. And that's why I go. I don't particularly like church, and I don't always like to be even at my church just because of this general dislike/distrust I've developped for churches in general. But the family thing draws me back. Wish you guys would come down here and live and work and be near me, but in the meanwhile, I hope you can find a home there with some like-minded believers. Love you!

Shelby said...

Interestingly enough, I think we've found our "church" with folks we have met recently. Since we haven't found a "church home" yet, we've already fellowshipped with 2 different couples/families whom we really enjoyed their company, and hope to continue to build relationships with. Wherever we end up, we know we'll still continue to be friends and have "church" with them whenever we do get together. I know it's hard.. though... and I feel similar... we've visited 4 different churches so far and I still just want to find God there too and for people to "get it." Will be praying for you guys!

Anonymous said...

Have you read "So you don't want to go to church anymore?" Very interesting and easy read. You can download it for free at jakecolsen.com ...
http://www.jakecolsen.com/contents.html

It addresses the very thing you are feeling. It will minister to you and give you much to ponder.

love you so,
mom

kathylove said...

Precious, Gini, we understand your longings and heart as far as church goes. The church took a different path about 50 years ago...and thus now you see the results we have today...lacking and wanting, I fear.

I have come to the conclusion to not look for a church to attend or be apart of, nor a ministry...BUT instead to look for Lord Jesus and draw nearer to Him each day...He will show me where and what He calls me to do...He will lead me to friends who truly love Him.

We are attending a Baptist Church in Skiatook. We do not have many to choose from in this small town. We so often wonder why we are here. We love the area we are in, but the church part does not seem to be working for us...no real body life/fellowship, etc.

By faith, we continue to trust Father, God...as He leads us in paths unfamiliar...we know He has a plan for our lives...mainly to glorify Him...and to grow stronger in knowing Him completely.

Praying for you...keep looking up to Father, God for all your needs and answers.