Friday, June 02, 2006

My 11 month old lesson

It's amazing what I can learn from such a little person. I had forgotten how risky it was to grow up and how brave one has to be to move on. This is something that I have begun to relearn through watching my daughter Mercy. There are references to this "growth" phenomenon in the bible. Such as the idea that when I was a baby I drank milk, but now it's time to eat meat. It's a metaphor for our depth and understanding of relationship with Christ and His word.

Hard to believe Mercy went from that little pipsqueek to rolling over, crawling, waving, talking, and now her first several steps. I know that I wrote on Mother's Day that she had taken her first steps, and that was true, but then she became stagnant in her developmental growth in that area. She became busy about talking instead. Well, today she has really begun to stick out her unsure foot and take the risk that each step brings.

I noticed that she is most brave when she doesn't think too much about it. Each time she takes those risky steps, she has become eager or excited about whatever it is she is moving toward. That excitement overshadows her fear and she steps.

Here is where God began to spell it out a little more clearly. Why do I think so much? Now I don't think He desires for us to be dumb little sheep, but it seems that we simply have a tendancy to be that way. Seriously. I have only just begun to relearn the lesson of faith. All of you have seen the old Indiana Jones scene where he steps out over nothing, and yet he is able to stand. Each step is full of fear and hope, but each one gets easier because of the previous step.

This is what faith is like. The more you practice risk, the more you allow God to remind you the He is indeed God...and the easier it is to risk the next time. Somehow, though I stopped this lovely cycle, and it has been so long since I have risked that I am at the starting over place. And I'm o.k. with that. At least I have the memory of God's faithfulness in my past not to mention the stories of it from His Word, the Bible.

So if my daughter, Mercy, can go from a little wiggly vegetable in my arms all night, to a girl who sits at her own table, waves at will, and steps when she doesn't let her mind get in the way, then I can step also. I know that all this newness in my life can seem overwhelming and sort of depressing, but I also know that if I move forward, God has something cool ahead. I don't know what and I don't really care because I trust who He is and His character.